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god made me funky

October 27, 2013


Between listening to Elizabeth Gilbert speak at the Southbank Centre on Friday and meeting a dozen like minded bloggers at this magnificent Photohunt on Saturday, it’s been both difficult and tempting to ignore the call of creativity. Difficult because who can resist such inspiration? Tempting because of the potential overwhelming disappointment of starting something and never actually finishing it… again.

The past couple years have seen me digging through myself. It’s been quite a process– I’m damn well near to China. If I could sum up all the conversations I’ve had, and if you could read below the surface of said conversations, they would sound something like this:

“I’m hurting. I’m lost. Please can you take my pain away and fix it. Please can you validate it so that I can blame someone else for it, so that I don’t have to go through it, so that I don’t have to work at it.”

Two. Years.

I once read in an interview somewhere: “There’s only so much time you can spend digging through yourself before you become insular.” Wallowing has its place but as anyone who is anyone knows, there comes a time when you have to shit or get off the pot.

But the thing is, I’m such a good wallower. What will I talk about if I can’t wallow in my emotional landscape?

Walking in the park this morning, an entirely different landscape emerged. I noticed for the first time in a long time that there is a big world out there. A world far more vast that the small confines of my head – a cage without a gatekeeper. I want to get lost in that world again. But in order to do that, I need to get out of my own way and get over myself. And I say this with the kindest intent. I’m all for deep explorations of the self but sometimes you have to come back up to the surface where the light is.

So God made me funky. Big deal. Aren’t we all?

12 Comments leave one →
  1. October 27, 2013 1:14 pm

    We are all funky indeed. And for that I am grateful.

  2. Alison permalink
    October 27, 2013 2:05 pm

    oh. so. well. said.

  3. Katy permalink
    October 27, 2013 2:11 pm

    I’m exceptionally funky. Fancy escaping the cave together for a catch-up at LEAST before Xmas? I’ve missed your lovely company…x

    • Katy permalink
      October 27, 2013 2:13 pm

      PS- sorry new to this… Katy Southwood (think 4 sweaty weeks in Brentford “man” lab, summer before last ;o)

  4. October 27, 2013 2:42 pm

    I love that mug — and yes, God made us all funky. I think that’s a good thing! xo

  5. October 27, 2013 5:12 pm

    Yes, yes. I, too, enjoy a good, long wallow. I stayed there while my kids were babies and into the preschool years. I was trapped and I felt lucky to have that opportunity: to stay home with my kids and raise them. But. Oh. It was hard. Transitions are, you know. And once I was out of that I knew I was a mother, and I was okay with that. But I knew I could go back to being ME as well. So I did. I still wallow sometimes, when I have time. Just not so much and not so long anymore. Sending you BIG love. xoxo

  6. October 28, 2013 9:38 am


    I could expand…but why? You said pretty much everything perfectly. I am RIGHT THERE with you. Right now.

  7. October 28, 2013 1:10 pm

    oh yes, feeling so funky and grateful

  8. leonie permalink
    October 28, 2013 1:11 pm

    Yes. Yes we are.

    I love you

  9. November 1, 2013 12:40 pm

    It’s so good to have you back… do stay a while. x.

  10. November 3, 2013 2:29 pm

    Wise words… And I love that you’re funky… I have felt so for a long time… And only recently embraced it as well. I wish more would… Thanks for putting that out there. ❤

  11. November 6, 2013 6:46 pm

    Sometimes my funky smells though … you know? I’m working through this myself – accepting my good funky bits and polishing off some of the edges that I need to work on .. to get rid of that slight off-putting thing that needs to go … (does that make any sense?)

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