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batch no. 2

April 21, 2011

Sas asks: Please explain how in the well known blockbuster, ‘the muppets take manhattan’ they do that scene where the muppets all bike through central park. ARE THEY ALIVE?

Dear Sas, in order for me to provide an educated response, I would have to actually see the movie and that part in particular. Sadly, all copies of The Muppets Take Manhattan were rented at my local video store. Pity. I suppose I could venture a guess but I’m neither awake n0r drunk enough at the moment for that. I was going to promise to revisit this question at a later juncture, when I’m sufficiently inebriated to think like a muppet, but that would go against the whole point of exercising my writing muscles (akin to building biceps by repeatedly lifting a beer bottle to one’s lips). Luckily, thanks to the mighty powers of Google, I scarcely had to do any work at all (lose 20 pounds in 1 day with this magic pill!). Scrupulous research suggests that Muppets are, indeed, very much alive. There is no denying it, the proof is in the eyes. I rest my case.

Also, did you know that there is a Muppet Wiki on these here webs? Say non, you say! Oui! Very much oui. Would I lie to you about such a thing? My knowledge of the Muppets has now reached vast proportions. Thanks Sas, this will make me very popular in British social circles when I arrive in London.

Prin asks: As a person betrayed in the worst ways via a long distance relationship, I have to ask (as part of me worries for you), how can you be sure the him you know is the real him? Or rather, what makes you sure? And, also, if I may ask another (although I may have just missed it if you already blogged it), what did he get you for your anniversary?

I don’t think anyone can ever be sure about such things, that’s why it’s called a leap of faith. And the reason I think he’s worth taking that leap is because we’ve been nothing but open with each other for the past 2 years. I hardly see the point of lying about who I am only to move thousands of miles and show up at his doorstep, mask off, shouting “SURPRISE! You had no idea that I had insecurities and baggage and that I hate it when you chew with your mouth open, did you? SUCKER!”  He feels the same way. It is precisely the long distance that has forced us to communicate openly and be honest about our hopes and fears. Sometimes, we want to shut down because it’s so hard to talk about certain things, especially for the boy who comes from a long line of  stiff upper lips (such is the British Way) but we know that it’s best to hash it out, one issue at a time. And in the end… it makes our love stronger.

Relationships can certainly break your trust and your heart and I’m sorry that was the case for you. I’ve been on the receiving end as well, but I am trying not to live in cynicism because it’s a cancer to my soul and I’m missing out on all the good bits by focusing on the “could be bits”. Innocent until proven guilty, I say. But that doesn’t make me naive. It’s important for me to go to London for me first. For as long as I can remember, I’ve wanted to live in Europe so I am trying to go there with that thought at the forefront of my mind and the British Boy is simply a cherry on the sundae. A damn good cherry, I might add.

As for our anniversary, he sent me flowers at work (ranunculus. my favorite.) and a video of him reciting a poem he wrote for me. It was perfect!

Jennifer Allison asks: How did you two decide which lover would move across the pond?

As mentioned above, I’ve always wanted to live abroad. The British Boy spent quite a bit of time on Canadian soil several years ago (we both lived in Nelson, BC at the exact same time and don’t recall ever meeting… perhaps Cupid was already aiming his arrows at the cockles of our hearts). He absolutely loves Canada and Canadians and would very much be willing to move here (and if all this visa stuff turns ass side up, he may very well have no choice). But I really want to realize my lifelong dream, even if I just end up going there as a visitor for 6 months.

JKristen asks:  My question(s) for you are about your move to UK. I know you have the boy there and will probably be living with him, so that kinda eliminates your need for a home/rent etc… How exactly are you going about looking for a job over there? What steps have to be taken? I’m curious, because I’d love to do it myself one day…just have to find me a British Boy:) Good luck!

Actually, Joe and I have decided not to live together right off the bat. On the one hand, he lives with his brother (who is lovely and amazing but might not need to see his brother’s girlfriend’s knickers drying on the rack in his flat) and on the other hand, we’d like to see what it’s like to date, you know, like normal people. We’ve only seen each other a handful of times over the past 2 years and I think we need a buffer period before we dive into the domestic stuff. So I’ll be living with my dear friend Leonie for a month or two while I get settled, then will most likely look for a furnished flat of my own. I’ll be checking out London Living when the time comes. They’ve been extremely helpful with planning this move so far.

As for the steps to be taken, well, naturally I had to look into visas, which work on a points-based tier system in the UK. Given that I don’t have immediate European ancestors and that I am 35 years old and of American nationality… let’s just say that I get a big fat zero points there. So my only option is to get sponsored for a work visa. Presently, I’m trying my very best to get transferred internally through work, which has offices all around the world. That would be the simplest way given recent immigration crackdown in the UK. However, my work generally doesn’t transfer administrative assistants; it’s a privilege reserved for Partners and Managers. Still, this little tiny obstacle will not stop me from giving it my all. I’m currently in contact with a Director at PwC UK (through one of Joe’s friends) and am working that angle in addition to being in contact with Human Resources on this side of the pond. Also, Joe and I have sent my resume to absolutely every single person we know. I think 10% of the world is looking at my resume as we speak. Needless to say, our fingers are permanently crossed these days.

The other option is to go as a visitor for 6 months and try to have some sort of freelance/contract work (from Canada or the US) so that I can make a little money while I stay there. This option, however, means that I have to leave the country after 6 months and am not allowed to return for another 6, unless I get sponsored for work or…. married.

So, first option is to get a work visa. Second is to go as a visitor for 6 months and if things are hunky dory and we’ve survived the whole bureaucratic ordeal, then screw it, we get married in the new year!

Lizardek asks: My question is: how do you judge what is the most original question?

Ah! That is a very good question and most original, oh wise one. I put all the questions in an “originality randomizer” and let the computer do all the work based on a complicated algorithm. I don’t get involved with such things.

Jamie asks: If you were given one day where no one would ever remember anything you did, what would you dare to do? {Remember; it will all be erased tomorrow…}

At this point, given immigration woes… I would get my ass to the UK border, hijack it, have someone grant me citizenship, breeze into London with all my papers in working order and stay indefinitely. I’d probably have to rob a bank too. But, like, only a portion of Donald Trump’s savings account.

Jess asks: What is in your heart today?

Hope.

Waitingforastart asks: What would be six impossible things you would like to do before breakfast?

Meet with the Universe’s board of directors up there in the sky and have a chat about this Spring situation, or more specifically, lack thereof.
Become an olympic triathlon gold medalist
Find a cure for cancer
Write a NY Times best-selling novel
Fly to Paris for said breakfast (un pain au chocolat et un double espresso, s.v.p.)
Finish this post

That’s it for now, folks. Wishing you a very happy Easter and Earth Day!

Peace out!

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13 Comments leave one →
  1. April 21, 2011 11:34 am

    jesus, you are GOOD.
    love your face.

  2. Christina Caron permalink
    April 21, 2011 12:05 pm

    🙂

  3. April 21, 2011 12:28 pm

    happy happy weekend

  4. April 21, 2011 1:53 pm

    Librarian alert! I just have to say that a documentary exists that shows just how those Muppets ride the bikes. It’s called The World of Jim Henson. There is also a book by the same name that talks about it, but seeing it is cooler.

    Sorry, I see reference questions WHEREVER I GO. It’s a sickness.

  5. April 21, 2011 2:56 pm

    You are an inspiration! Best of luck in it all…I’ll be following your progress and rooting for you from the sidelines:)

  6. April 21, 2011 7:02 pm

    I. Love. Your. Posts. xo

  7. Alison permalink
    April 22, 2011 5:08 am

    Oh so entertaining and I love the way you play with words.

  8. April 22, 2011 4:20 pm

    thanks for addressing this important issue.
    clearly , we need more research. but i agree, this should really be conducted under strict scientific conditions, possibly involving a tab of acid. HOW ELSE CAN WE MAKE SENSE OF THIS?

    here is the scene: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bZJ–IPg7Hs

  9. April 23, 2011 8:57 am

    I love this. Every bit of it.

  10. April 23, 2011 11:06 pm

    I’ve been thinking about work visas and relocation lately, too. But congrats on surviving long-distance and moving to a sweet new city! I know the practicalities of moving to a new place is a whole different thing, but I think it’ll all work out for you. Good luck!

  11. April 27, 2011 5:47 am

    Interesting to know you better. and lovely pics.

  12. May 1, 2011 2:43 pm

    you can now find a little report from my wonderful encounter with Chelsea Physic garden here;
    http://othersketchbook.livejournal.com/350701.html

    🙂

    oh, and btw; I loved your post on the expired film!!! I have been experimenting alot with expired films myself too lately, and will soon show some results! It is super exiting!

    best,
    E

  13. prin permalink
    May 5, 2011 11:34 pm

    🙂 I really hope it works out for you two.

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