day 30 – how a marathon runner must feel when crossing the finish line

… creative muscles exhausted, no more food for thought left, empty of and thirsty for words, relieved, so relieved and perhaps a little delirious.

The good thing about nablopomo is that it’s not only a practice in writing but a lesson in self-discipline and surrender.  You write, you publish, you let it go and move on.  You just don’t have time to be picky and over analytical, no time to rewrite, censor, edit, delete and start over only to give up.  Midnight is the deadline and it waits for no one.  You surrender to the fact that sure, some of the things you write will be pure shite. But some of it is Gold, Baby, Gold.  And you may have never written it if you hadn’t been forced by your own stubbornness to sit your ass down, let your mind wonder & wander and your fingers tap dance across the keyboard.

The strange thing about nablopomo is the longer you go, as difficult as it is to write every day, the easier it actually becomes. Natalie Goldberg makes a very valid point when she writes: “This is the practice school of writing.  Like running, the more you do it, the better you get at it.  Some days you don’t want to run and you resist every step of the three miles, but you do it anyway.  You practice whether you want to or not.   You don’t wait around for inspiration and a deep desire to run.  It’ll never happen, especially if you are out of shape and have been avoiding it.  But if you run regularly, you train your mind to cut through or ignore your resistance.  You just do it.  And in the middle of the run, you love it.”… which brings me to my next point.

The amazing thing about nablopomo is realizing, through all the “my god this is such a pain in the ass, is it every going to end?”, that you actually really, really, really love writing.  And it’s not the writing part you resent about nablopomo, it’s not having the time to do it.  In fact, this whole month was fertile ground for a seed that was planted in my head.  A seed that has been there for a while but never had the right conditions to break through the crusty surface.  It’s still a seed mind you, still only a whisper of a thought but it’s enough to make me consider going back to school part time in the Fall in a field that marries my two loves – writing and photography.

The unfortunate thing about nablopomo is that you spend so much time writing that you barely have any time to read all the other amazing posts out there.  I look forward to catching up on my blog roll over the next month, visiting new blogs and being more active on the comment giving side of things rather than receiving.

The fun thing about nablopomo is getting to share my mental musings with you lovely people and have you participate.  Reading all your uplifting, kind, funny, generous comments is a true joy in my life.  Thank you. Thank you for sticking by me and nudging me along.  I felt like I had a team cheering me on to this finish line, screaming, “keep going, you’re almost there, you can do it ” even when my legs were giving out and I was about to face plant on the pavement.

During the next month, these parts may look like an amusement park off season… deserted, tumbleweeds blowing across the screen, you’ll practically hear the wind and the creaking of the rusting rides.  But though the pages may contain little in the way of words, I’ll be making space for the other love in my life – photography – as I join many other lovely bloggers in Darlene’s project December Views.

Here is Darlene’s description of December Views: “I really want to spend some time with the visual, sinking into the silence and observing the world around me, creating my view of that world and I thought I would share that here. Rather than blogging words, I am going to blog images for the month of December. There are no rules and though I intend on blogging images everyday ~ that is not the intention, rather the intention is to allow myself to enjoy the quiet, to allow myself a month of no stress creativity and to allow myself to share a bit of my world with you in a completely different way than I usually do.  This doesn’t have to be high arty photography though it can be. It doesn’t have to be sharp photography though it can be. It just has to reflect your days, your life, your thoughts or your reflection.”

In the meantime, as things always come in 3s, I thought I would close nablopomo with one more giveaway.  ‘Tis the season, after all. Whoever leaves a comment sharing their 3 favorite posts over the past month, will be entered in a draw to win a 5×7 print of their choice from my flickr photostream.  Plus, I’ll send a little extra surprise.  Contest ends December 7th at midnight EST. And don’t forget, this is your last chance to enter the “Name that Piggy” and “Favorite Things” giveaways, which close at midnight EST tonight.

Now I’m going to step away from the computer and take this numb butt for a run on the mountain.  Fresh air and freedom, here I come.

Over and out.