A VISA IS WHAT I GOT!!! V to the I to the S to the motherflipping A!!!
I can’t believe it! I’m in a state of shock, I think. I was all set to wait three grueling months, based on what the experts (plural) told me, but there it was, Wednesday morning, THE email. “Your UK visa has been issued”. I sat there blinking in disbelief for a few minutes then immediately forwarded it to my friend Roma. “It says ISSUED right? I mean, that means APPROVED right?” This is the kind of shit that requires clarification, people. And since the powers that be do not provide clarification, I’ve been waiting. In a state of perpetual anxiety. For three days. Waiting to have the visa in hand because I simply couldn’t allow myself to feel the excitement this kind of news deserved until I had proof. Actual tangible proof.
So let me show you the full extent of my state of mind since I last wrote. Imagine me riding the biggest roller coaster at the world’s largest amusement park with a bloodstream filled with ten shots of espresso (make them double) spiked with speed. And then maybe give me some candy to take the edge off. And that will give you a glimpse of the anticipation I’ve felt this past month. Remember my word for this year? Patience? Yeah, that pretty much flew out the door seconds after I pronounced it. I have been, in reality, the anti-patient. The crazy woman with the wild eyes and the mood swings. It’s like I overdosed on estrogen pills and I’m ever so grateful to my husband for lending me his patience when I ran out of my own (which was in short supply to begin with). He’s a marvel, truly, as I’ve been anything but easy since he left. The poor man has no idea what he got himself into when he said I do. But I’m hoping I can cajole him with brownies and sex.
Of course now that I have this visa, it almost all seems a bit anticlimactic. Your UK visa has been issued? WTF! How about “CONGRATULATIONS! YOU CAN STOP BITING YOUR FINGERNAILS AND GET OFF THE EDGE OF YOUR SEAT! YOU’VE GOT IT! NOW GO DOWN A BOTTLE OF GAMAY AND CATCH UP ON SOME SLEEP!” Or something like that, with a WOOP WOOP thrown in for good measure. The UK Border Agency really ought to take the enthusiasm up a notch.
I’m flying out in two weeks, which means that I’ll be in London in time for Valentine’s day. And though I’ve never been one to celebrate Valentine’s day… I’ll be the first to admit that the timing is pretty darn perfect. And now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to spend the weekend drinking wine and saying VEEEEEZZZZZAAAA a whole lot and generally giving this news the kind of excitement it deserves.
P.S. I can’t thank you enough for your support and enthusiasm. It’s meant the world to us.