baby, we’re all gonna die!

Hey, remember when I had that little freakout on my blog last Sunday? Yes, that was fun, wasn’t it? Naturally, I am not dismissing nor making light of heavy feelings (though I do now believe that hormones were at the helm), but I must admit that it’s nice to be here, on the other side of the meltdown. Hello.

Perhaps my current state of contentment has less to do with the fall of estrogen and more to do with all the kind words of encouragement sent my way by none other than YOU, dear readers. Seriously? Y’all are wise, people! Way to pull a girl out of a funk! If I could, I’d take you all out for Champagne and cake, such is my gratitude. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

I think my dear friend Elizabeth put it all into perspective when she said (and I don’t think she’ll mind if I share because this is gold, baby, gold):

Fears and anxieties and the rawness of new new new everything and NOT having your own, your very own home — well, this is a FIELD DAY for the fears and insecurities.

Hell, they are calling friends, neighbors and cousins to come join them in your head (and gut) where the PAR-TAY is ON!

I am here, like fucking Mary Poppins to send them all home and END the fear anxiety fiesta.

You are good.

This new life is all too beautiful.  But it has not come fully into being, yet— and that transition is hard.  It is hard to breathe through the transition of not knowing, of not knowing what is ahead.

But you will anyway.  You will remember your friend Elizabeth who told you— there is nothing to be afraid of NOTHING.  Except to die, right?  But baby, we’re all gonna die.

The difference is, when that time comes, YOU get to reflect on your life and remember that you had the COURAGE to take the opportunity to MOVE to LONDON and be with the man you love— and you didn’t hide yourself down in a cubicle box.  You traveled.  You tasted.  You laughed.  You cried.  You captured beauty and light in photographic images.

YOU LIVED.  BIG, LARGE, MESSY— cause there is no other way to do it— screaming down the mountain, diving into the waves.  YOU LIVE BIG.

And life, she loves people like you, and she has BIG rewards ahead for your courage, your vision, your heart.  Big.

Tell fear to take a fucking hike.  Tell anxiety it is eviction day.  OWN your power.  Focus on all that is beautiful right now.  Focus on each detail of what is beautiful right now.

Yeah, she pretty much rocks like that. Love that woman. Love her.

On that note, I’m off to see this play tonight (Kevin Spacey… drool. I mean Shakespeare… genius writer and pre-eminent dramatist). Also. ALSO. The boy is whisking me away to a secret location this weekend. Our first weekend alone since I’ve arrived. Joy! Joy! Joy! Will report back next week.

In the meantime, stay cool kids.

(and thank you. again. truly)