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baby, we’re all gonna die!

August 11, 2011


Hey, remember when I had that little freakout on my blog last Sunday? Yes, that was fun, wasn’t it? Naturally, I am not dismissing nor making light of heavy feelings (though I do now believe that hormones were at the helm), but I must admit that it’s nice to be here, on the other side of the meltdown. Hello.

Perhaps my current state of contentment has less to do with the fall of estrogen and more to do with all the kind words of encouragement sent my way by none other than YOU, dear readers. Seriously? Y’all are wise, people! Way to pull a girl out of a funk! If I could, I’d take you all out for Champagne and cake, such is my gratitude. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

I think my dear friend Elizabeth put it all into perspective when she said (and I don’t think she’ll mind if I share because this is gold, baby, gold):

Fears and anxieties and the rawness of new new new everything and NOT having your own, your very own home — well, this is a FIELD DAY for the fears and insecurities.

Hell, they are calling friends, neighbors and cousins to come join them in your head (and gut) where the PAR-TAY is ON!

I am here, like fucking Mary Poppins to send them all home and END the fear anxiety fiesta.

You are good.

This new life is all too beautiful.  But it has not come fully into being, yet— and that transition is hard.  It is hard to breathe through the transition of not knowing, of not knowing what is ahead.

But you will anyway.  You will remember your friend Elizabeth who told you— there is nothing to be afraid of NOTHING.  Except to die, right?  But baby, we’re all gonna die.

The difference is, when that time comes, YOU get to reflect on your life and remember that you had the COURAGE to take the opportunity to MOVE to LONDON and be with the man you love— and you didn’t hide yourself down in a cubicle box.  You traveled.  You tasted.  You laughed.  You cried.  You captured beauty and light in photographic images.

YOU LIVED.  BIG, LARGE, MESSY— cause there is no other way to do it— screaming down the mountain, diving into the waves.  YOU LIVE BIG.

And life, she loves people like you, and she has BIG rewards ahead for your courage, your vision, your heart.  Big.

Tell fear to take a fucking hike.  Tell anxiety it is eviction day.  OWN your power.  Focus on all that is beautiful right now.  Focus on each detail of what is beautiful right now.

Yeah, she pretty much rocks like that. Love that woman. Love her.

On that note, I’m off to see this play tonight (Kevin Spacey… drool. I mean Shakespeare… genius writer and pre-eminent dramatist). Also. ALSO. The boy is whisking me away to a secret location this weekend. Our first weekend alone since I’ve arrived. Joy! Joy! Joy! Will report back next week.

In the meantime, stay cool kids.

(and thank you. again. truly)

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13 Comments leave one →
  1. August 11, 2011 1:20 am

    Smooches from Sweden to you, beautiful lady!

  2. Ash permalink
    August 11, 2011 2:40 am

    well played, english lad.
    West End theatre, and
    weekend away

  3. August 11, 2011 3:39 am

    just the post to read as i enter day 3 of my own meltdown 🙂

  4. August 11, 2011 4:14 am

    that Elizabeth is so wise. i must say when i read about your meltdown, i wanted to comment…but i’m so very jealous of you and making the leap and finding true love but i totally get the fear. but as E said….tell fear to take a fucking hike! enjoy your weekend (totally jealous)….can’t wait to hear about it (well, what you can share ;))

  5. Alison permalink
    August 11, 2011 5:54 am

    The Rise and Fall of the Roman Empire had nothing on your rise and fall of hormones. I’m so sorry you get hit so hard like that. However if that inspires you to write amazing blogs then my selfish side is a wee bit happy. I’m happier still though to know that you’re feeling better and on your way to a wonderful adventure this weekend. Oh and as for Elizabeth, WOW, WOW & WOW. Great inspiration.

    I love the pic of the shoes on the rocks too. I’d love to pick my way through those rocks looking for treasures. I’m pretty sure I see a dinosaur bone in there. 🙂

  6. Christina permalink
    August 11, 2011 6:03 am

    I am happy you are feeling better. When Michelle told me you were in a funk, I said “uh oh hormones” and Mom, Michelle and Michael all nodded. lol

    While on summer vacation, I was sitting on the bow of the boat, cruising along and I thought about how much I wanted to share the moment, the beauty of it all with my sisters. I started making arrangements in my head and I guess I must not have been on my first cocktail because it only dawned on me half way through my “plans” that you were half way accross the world. And then I missed you. I missed you BAD. I guess I will have to make different arrangements now. I wonder what London looks like in the fall?

    I can not wait to hear all about this secret location Joe is taking you to!

    By the way, been hearing so much about the riots on the news, hope you are staying safe.

    Love you to bits ♥♥♥

  7. August 11, 2011 7:06 am

    (ha ha– and to think I was afraid you’d read my crazy late-night email never speak to me again . . . you just never know with emails, right?)

    SO so so glad you are on the other side of that contraction—- loving on you big time and those PHOTOS– oh my god, those photos!!

    xoxox, E

  8. August 11, 2011 7:44 am

    that is one amazing, wonderful, true and upliftng comment from Elizabeth!!
    I feel so much better after reading it, everybody does feel this fear and anxiety from time to time, right? but really, there is nothing to be afraid of!! 🙂

  9. Amy Kay permalink
    August 11, 2011 7:57 am

    It’s your first official “mini-break” as a local…just like Bridget Jones!! How romantic! I try to say that I’m going on a mini-break whenever we excape for the weekend, but it just doesn’t have the same ring here in Canada!

    I miss you! xx

  10. August 11, 2011 9:45 am

    Elizabeth DOES rock, doesn’t she?? I am so glad that you have climbed out of the funks and are now seeing sunshine again. Those photos are awesome, WOW.

    I have also been thinking about you during all of the news reports of the riots. I was glad to get your email (thank you!) so I knew you were safe.

    Sending you a big hug, and I can’t wait to hear all about your weekend get-away!! Yay for LOVE!

  11. August 11, 2011 10:47 am

    love this. thanks to BOTH of you love-lishish souls for this. i’m gonna have to read and repeat all day.

    enJOY spacey (man do i have a crush on that man) – have you seen him in ‘shrink’??? SOOO good!

    and….thoroughly roll around in all the goodness of your weekend away. secret rendezvous..nice!

  12. August 11, 2011 4:05 pm

    I’m so glad to hear you’re doing better. *hugs*

  13. August 13, 2011 7:32 am

    Now who’s pulling who out of a funk?!

    Thank YOU!

    Some very wise peeps around these parts.

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