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permission to be cheesy?

October 26, 2010

So there we were, sitting on my back porch, drink in hand, reminiscing about all the places we’d been together and dreaming of all the places we would go and it became increasingly clear that we had become an item somewhere along the way. I remember cheerfully thinking, Wow, I guess this means I have a boyfriend* now and even though I had practically sworn myself to a life of spinsterhood, I was quite pleased (understatement) with this turn of events. I wasn’t afraid of being someone’s someone anymore. In fact, I feel extraordinarily blessed to have the opportunity to love again.

As you know though, with love comes  the saccharine, the syrupy, gooey, sweet clichés. Love brings out the cheesy in you, no matter how old or young. It’s positively inescapable. And I, for one, am celebrating the corny side of me.

So we were sitting there on my porch and I asked the British boy “When do you reckon our anniversary date is? I mean, you know, now that we’ve established that this is it, we are a couple, a unit, an “us”… us being you plus me?” (because apparently, even at my most cheesy, I like to make it clear in no uncertain terms that I am an independent woman). Total hogwash. Still, he obliged and responded, “That’s a good question… dunno.” So we started dissecting each encounter and conceded that, indeed, our circumstances were special and there was no simple answer. After a while,  I think he was the one to suggest that we put it to a vote.

So, dear readers, for the sake of pure fromage, your mission today should you choose to accept it is to help Joe & I determine an anniversary date. We are very happy to celebrate the first day of each of our encounters for as long as we are together, but one special day would be quite lovely (I always enjoy an opportunity to celebrate with an extravagant meal and wine and chocolate cake).

Is it…

  1. The first time we ever met on March 3, 2009. Someone recently asked Joe if it was love at first sight when he met me and he answered, “Well, I didn’t know it at the time, but looking back, I suppose it was“. I would have to say the same. You know that feeling like you’ve known someone forever? I had that within moments of meeting him. I certainly wouldn’t have invited the bloke to meet me in Rome if I didn’t really, really like him.
  2. When he met me for a romantic weekend in Rome at the end of my trip on March 27, 2009.
  3. When, 8 months later, Miss MacCrellish insisted that I make plans to see him again and Joe accepted my self-invite on December 5, 2009.
  4. When I flew to England to spend New Year’s with him and his family on December 28, 2009.
  5. When we committed to meeting again and booked our tickets to Iceland on February 21, 2010.
  6. When we finally met in Glasgow (a slight detour to Iceland) on April 24, 2010 despite all volcano scares.
  7. When we had our first little quarrel in New York City on April 29, 2010 (the moon, she was right full and she was making us crazy).
  8. When we said good-bye at JFK on May 4, 2010 and I walked around the entire airport bawling my eyes out.
  9. Any one of those long, excruciating days between New York and Montreal.
  10. When he professed his love to me at the airport  (and I naturally reciprocated) within moments of arriving in Montreal on September 19, 2010.
  11. The day I move to England (which is an indeterminate date at the moment, but I am aiming for sometime in 2011. My fears make me want to say “if” I move to England. My gut says “when”.).
  12. None of the above (go nuts, pick a random date).

What say you, dear readers?

* And while I am asking for your opinion, I must admit that I am not a big fan of using the moniker “boyfriend/girlfriend” at this point in my life and would very much appreciate any suggestion or variation on the term other than the misleading “partner”.

37 Comments leave one →
  1. October 26, 2010 4:23 pm

    krikey. it’s a toss up between 6 (love the struggle of it all) and 10 (fireworks, baby…pure fireworks). moving to england. zow. you get a big, fat gold star for BRAVERY!!! i agree whole heartedly..with all of my 38 years…that i have a hard time with ‘boyfriend/girlfriend’ too…i feel like i’m in junior high whenever i utter those terms. looking forward to seeing what kind of feedback you get on that part.

    to ENGLAND AND BEYOND…tallyho! 🙂

  2. October 26, 2010 4:39 pm

    I vote for 09/09/09.

    Just because.


  3. October 26, 2010 5:03 pm

    YOU ARE MOVING TO ENGLAND?! That has made my day (to be fair today has been made of shite and spider-bites so that wasn’t difficult).

    Anniversary is the 3 March 2009. No question.


  4. October 26, 2010 5:05 pm

    Nordic Boy and I have many anniversaries from our crazy history. We have now just settled on celebrating the one: the day we first laid eyes on each other. The journey of us started then, and anything else that followed, followed. There is only one first. So the day you met is my vote.

  5. October 26, 2010 5:07 pm

    March 27th, 2009. That sounds like the first official “date,” as opposed to just meeting.

    Very happy for you. My husband proposed 18 days after our first date. I know all about that love-at-first-sight thing. 🙂

    (Married 8 years, together 9 years this month. 🙂 )

  6. Christina Caron permalink
    October 26, 2010 5:55 pm

    Hmmm I notice the first shag was not included in your choice of dates. Oh well then, in that case I must go with March the 3rd 2009 ….clears throat. Boyfriend/Girlfriend variation…. my love? my better half? my donkey kong?

  7. October 26, 2010 8:04 pm

    I am voting for March 3rd as well. The first is the first.

    I don’t know about a synonym for boyfriend. Sweetheart? Main squeeze? Beloved? LOVER? Significant other? They are all kind of wonky if you ask me. You could always introduce him like, “And, this is Joe.” With a wink and a knowing smile…?

    You’re MOVING TO ENGLAND?? Yay! I can’t wait to hear about it!

  8. October 26, 2010 9:13 pm

    see – i vote for the december date in 2009 when you made it a true wanna be with each other instead of a ‘thang’ – know what i mean?

    and moving!?! yay!! double yay

  9. October 26, 2010 9:45 pm

    your post on the gypsy girl’s guide is one of the sweetest, most heartwarming things i’ve read in the blogworld… 🙂 and now i see that someday, one day you are moving to be with him. how wonderful is that. THANK YOU…. for sharing your beautiful love story.

    p.s. i think the first time you met is the best day you could ever celebrate over & over again. 🙂

  10. October 26, 2010 10:48 pm

    March 3, 2009 gets my vote.

    And I hate the boyfriend/girlfriend junk too, but my man of the hour probably wouldn’t appreciate that I refer to him as my man of the hour. 😀 (The hour will potentially last a lifetime…)

  11. honey727 permalink
    October 26, 2010 10:50 pm

    March 3rd, 09. In fact I’m sealing it with whiskey right now. Raise your glass (eh em)…here’s to many more lovely first _____ anniversaries for you both. 3/3 was the day the seed of this love story was planted in both of you. Cheers.

  12. honey727 permalink
    October 26, 2010 11:00 pm

    Oh and furthermore I like your fella and if you want to go full court press fromage you could always refer to him as your beau.

    ps You are a broad/dame if ever there was one.

  13. October 27, 2010 2:05 am

    permission completely granted! 😉
    New Years: December 31, 2009/January 1, 2010.
    I don’t know what you did together that night, but it’s a symbolic date: ie. new beginnings.

  14. October 27, 2010 3:14 am

    It’s definitely a toss up between #1 and #10. My sweetheart and I use the date where it was clear to both of us that we were actually an item — which also happens to be my birthday, so that works out nicely. 😉 In terms of the word “boyfriend”, I kinda hate that it implies some sort of temporariness that just isn’t there. Have yet to discover something better in English or in German.

  15. October 27, 2010 4:44 am

    It HAS to be 3 March 2009 – the ‘love at first sight’ meet.

    p.s your love story is truly awesome.

  16. Kathleen permalink
    October 27, 2010 7:17 am

    Celebrate them all! Life is too short and when you find that one person that makes it so sweet, you must cherish each and every moment together.

    “My guy” may work. I think those types of monikers just evolve.

    BTW, I met and married my hubby in just nine month, all while living 5 hours away from each other. And it only took that long because I had to wait to graduate from college. We’ve been married 22 years. Sometimes you just know.

  17. October 27, 2010 8:11 am

    I would have to say the first time you met, March 3, 2009. I absolutely love your story and it gives me hope that my future love is out there somewhere…just waiting. So excited to see the rest of your story unfold…and moving to England…YAY!

  18. kmthouston permalink
    October 27, 2010 8:44 am

    #1 FOR SURE…it was the beginning of the beginning, and without it, there would be nothing else.

    Once you move to England, “partner” will not be so misleading, as it’s fairly standard to describe any significant other. In the meantime, I’m a fan of “my sweetie” although you don’t seem like a “sweetie” kinda gal (even with love cheese in your eyes). “My guy” is cute but not too cheesy & can withstand all phases of courtship.

    Can’t wait to hear the final verdict on both the date & the term!!!

  19. October 27, 2010 9:32 am

    non boyfriend/girlfriend term: “BOYF”

    it’s perrrfect….but “girlf” doesn’t work as well, so it’s kind of a one-way street. 🙂

  20. October 27, 2010 9:53 am

    I loved this post. I’ve read it three times already. And do you know which is my favorite date of all of the above?

    May 4th.

    Exactly the moment you knew you couldn’t live without your boy and didn’t care who in the world saw you cry about it.

    I was wrong in my first sentence. I don’t love this post. I love this story.

  21. Kathryn Guerriero permalink
    October 27, 2010 9:57 am

    so much great sharing, i heart these comments, haha Donkey Kong…
    March 3rd seems quite significant, with all the others to choose from there are many firsts you celebrate, first first though my vote 3/3/9 (3×3 is 9, you know it’s divine,hey that’s a rhyme)
    beau is formage but you’s so damn cute when you speak french that it’s got my vote!

  22. October 27, 2010 5:30 pm

    hello sweets,

    my vote: 3 March 2009.
    the beginning of the beginning.
    a thought: you may also look up the significance/symbolism of these numbers {in this case, 3 and 9}. i think you might find something there that speaks to you/resonates with you and your experience of this relationship unfolding.
    thank you for sharing your love journey!


  23. October 28, 2010 5:47 am

    Oh such a beautiful story! Also loving your blog which i just clicked on after seeing your comment on my flickr!

  24. October 28, 2010 6:26 am

    I vote for Number 10 – I always take that first joint declaration of love as the first anniversary of the relationship … how lovely you have such a rich interconnected history with eachother already! 🙂

  25. October 28, 2010 6:13 pm

    My vote is for March 3, 2009. And since cheese is the order of the day, you could always call him your lovah. 🙂

  26. October 28, 2010 11:43 pm

    Definitely #1.

    Also, these days many straight couples use the word “partner.” Go with it! I use “partner” to describe my fella, and he does the same. It’s a great, inclusive, all-relationships-friendly term.

    Finally, thank you for sharing so many of your frustrations AND your joys here. You are so honest and it is a pleasure to follow your stories.

  27. Michelle permalink
    October 29, 2010 11:23 am

    So funny thing, this morning on Canada A.M the survey question was “do you believe in love at first sight ?” Only 59% said yes.

    Toatally did not happen that way for Michael and I…We know that 🙂 But, I really do believe that’s how it started for you and BB…Definitely March 3rd, 2009.

  28. Joe permalink
    October 29, 2010 6:42 pm

    Hurrah so here it is! Me and ‘my girl’ met for the first time on 030309. We get to celebrate that day on 030311! You’re right. First sight first smell first sight first touch. It all began then. Who knows where it is going. I just know that it’s together. You have all helped that. Bless you all. BB.

  29. October 30, 2010 11:19 am

    ALL of the above! Who needs just one anniversary when you have so many great ones to celebrate?

  30. October 31, 2010 9:07 pm

    OK, first: YAY!!! Second, I think you should just call him my love. Third, celebrate the first day you met. Definitely. Not many can claim love at first sight. You can, baby. Celebrate it.

  31. November 1, 2010 9:24 pm

    I have to go with #1. Celebrate the beginning and everything in between. As for nomenclature… it’s tough. In the situation when I was even seriously dating anyone, I still just referred to him as “my friend.” Eventually, along the way, people figured out we were “together” together. The boyfriend/girlfriend thing is so silly!

    Congratulations on your plans to move to England! Very exciting!

  32. November 2, 2010 11:19 am

    #1 baby. no question.
    love you crazy.

  33. November 3, 2010 7:13 am

    I have a hard time with the anniversary date, too. My beloved was supposed to be a fling and the relationship took me (and him!) completely by surprise. Neither one of us can remember when we had the “exclusivity talk” — because it was a rather superfluous chat anyway, what with our already being exclusive with each other — so we say our anniversary is merely some time in the summer.

    But if you *have* to pick a date, I’d have to say March 27th — the first official date.

  34. November 3, 2010 10:07 am

    MARCH 3, 2009– THE. DAY. YOU. MET.

    bien sur!

  35. November 7, 2010 6:11 pm

    celebrate 2 of them

    your #1 when you met and #10 when you said I love you (married 34 years now…) why not celebrate both as pivotal anniv.

  36. sophie permalink
    November 12, 2010 10:53 am

    I also think #1, without any hesitation – as I celebrate for you with a decadent piece of chocolate cake for breakfast… I know, terrible, but you are worth the sacrifice 😛

    Moving to England? Just as I am planning to, I mean, AM also moving to France early 2011 to be nearest my own make-me-openly-bawl-in-airports-every-time-French-lover? How interesting! 🙂

    In English, for some reason, I usually say “honey” to refer to my/someone’s significant other, no matter how old/long we/they have been together/shagging… not sure why, but it usually seems to fit!

  37. March 29, 2012 10:45 am

    “I wasn’t afraid of being someone’s someone anymore. In fact, I feel extraordinarily blessed to have the opportunity to love again.”

    Oh how I love those words, they tugged at my heart strings. When we find that person that makes us happy and we feel home, it is such a beautiful thing.

    Thank you for sharing your tale of love with all of us here.

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