list 1: the perfect man
Inspired by the wonderfully talented and uber creative Hula Seventy and given my compulsion for lists of all sorts and because I don’t have a single original bone in my body, I thought it might be fun to join her in making a list a week for an entire year. I have a to-do list going at all times, which keeps me somewhat organized; a living document to which new items are added each day (there is never a shortage of things to do) and old ones crossed off (or moved to the next day, in honor of procrastination). I also have little pieces of ripped paper and coffee shop napkins and bank receipts poking out of wallets and notebooks and pockets (inevitably going through a wash cycle), with names of bands to listen to, books to read, groceries to buy, websites to check out and restaurants to sample.
But those are your basic, run of the mill lists. What about the random numbered lists (or bulleted ones if you so choose)? The ones that require imagination or prove you lived, experienced, tried, paid attention… dream and hope. The wish lists, the random lists of conversations overheard or what you would bring on a desert island or your top 5 most embarrassing moments (once you’ve recovered from the ego trauma) or things you lost and things you found.
I mean you can seriously make a list of just about anything, but I mainly want to do this exercise because I feel the need to have a creative spark, a reason to sit my ass down at least once a week and write. I easily get stuck in journaling mode here and that’s fine, but I’d like to mix it up a bit. I’ve written a couple lists over the years and had a lot of fun doing them. One surely remembers the top 12 reasons to watch the Superbowl or the 12 expressions you should use next time you’re at a party (which, incidentally, deserves a sequel), pet peeves and favorite things.
So, without further ado… voici la liste numéro un, inspired by a Facebook status update I wrote a few months back when, in a strange fit of spinster melancholy, I asked myself the question: What would the perfect man look like? It’s absolutely ridiculous, of course, because the perfect man does not exist (neither does the perfect woman for that matter) but it’s a list of the fantasy variety so anything goes.
Besides, it is a well known fact that single ladies have imagined such things since the beginning of time, conjured up the perfect man while hunting and gathering, swing dancing, making lemon meringue pie in poodle skirts and rocking out in underground grunge bars. Surely cave women had different criteria than us modern ladies but I am certain they were drawn to the dude with the most muscular, albeit hairy, glutes (hot!) or the one that made all his clan mates gutturally laugh or killed a rabbit 20 miles away with a single shot from his sling.
My criteria differ but we are still innately drawn to the “fittest”, the one that will survive. And this man, let me tell you, would outlast us all with these spectacular traits:
Wes Anderson’s genius
Adrian Brody’s style
Zach Braff’s quirky humor
Chris Sharma’s athleticism
The Dalai Lama’s compassion
JT Holmes’s fearlessness
David Duchovny’s wit
Mark Ruffalo’s looks
Ben Gibbard’s way with words
Josh Halloway’s dimpled smile (the smile could melt the clothes right off my back. um. did I just say that out loud? my bad.)
Johnny Depp’s enigmatic eyes
Robert Downey Junior’s everything (let’s face it)
Ryan Reynold’s body
Aaron Nace’s creativity
Zach Condon’s gypsy ways
Jamie Oliver’s skills in the kitchen
Ray Lamontagne’s voice
Jude Law’s accent
Michael Franti’s heart
Tom Robbin’s vivid imagination
Quentin Tarantino’s intellect (seriously, the guy is a MENSA member)
Joseph Gordon-Levitt’s sex appeal
Ed Norton’s activism
Now that’s what I call a tall order! I’m sure I’m missing the Clooney’s and the Damon’s and the Gyllenhaal’s of the world but there are only so many men you can fit in one man.
If it were your list, who would you add to it? I know, your husband is perfect just the way he is! Sh-sh-sh-sh-sure. Mmmm hmmm. Cough it up, ladies.
Also, if you have any ideas for future lists you’d like to see here, help a sista out, share the love, spread the knowledge, send me your list. I’m aiming* to post a list every Thursday until 2011 because Thursday is the best day of the week (it just is and I’ll tell you why one of these days in some random list). So stay tuned.
* Aiming… with a no-guilt clause upon defaulting to another day. Given that I am already starting this project 3 weeks into the year, it proves I am hardly accountable.