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list 1: the perfect man

January 21, 2010

Inspired by the wonderfully talented and uber creative Hula Seventy and given my compulsion for lists of all sorts and because I don’t have a single original bone in my body, I thought it might be fun to join her in making a list a week for an entire year.  I have a to-do list going at all times, which keeps me somewhat organized; a living document to which new items are added each day (there is never a shortage of things to do) and old ones crossed off (or moved to the next day, in honor of procrastination). I also have little pieces of ripped paper and coffee shop napkins and bank receipts poking out of wallets and notebooks and pockets (inevitably going through a wash cycle), with names of bands to listen to, books to read, groceries to buy, websites to check out and restaurants to sample.

But those are your basic, run of the mill lists.  What about the random numbered lists (or bulleted ones if you so choose)? The ones that require imagination or prove you lived, experienced, tried, paid attention… dream and hope.  The wish lists, the random lists of conversations overheard or what you would bring on a desert island or your top 5 most embarrassing moments (once you’ve recovered from the ego trauma) or things you lost and things you found.

I mean you can seriously make a list of just about anything, but I mainly want to do this exercise because I feel the need to have a creative spark, a reason to sit my ass down at least once a week and write.  I easily get stuck in journaling mode here and that’s fine, but I’d like to mix it up a bit. I’ve written a couple lists over the years and had a lot of fun doing them.  One surely remembers the top 12 reasons to watch the Superbowl or the 12 expressions you should use next time you’re at a party (which, incidentally, deserves a sequel), pet peeves and favorite things.

So, without further ado… voici la liste numéro un, inspired by a Facebook status update I wrote a few months back when, in a strange fit of spinster melancholy, I asked myself the question: What would the perfect man look like? It’s absolutely ridiculous, of course, because the perfect man does not exist (neither does the perfect woman for that matter) but it’s a list of the fantasy variety so anything goes.

Besides, it is a well known fact that single ladies have imagined such things since the beginning of time, conjured up the perfect man while hunting and gathering, swing dancing, making lemon meringue pie in poodle skirts and rocking out in underground grunge bars.  Surely cave women had different criteria than us modern ladies but I am certain they were drawn to the dude with the most muscular, albeit hairy, glutes (hot!) or the one that made all his clan mates gutturally laugh or killed a rabbit 20 miles away with a single shot from his sling.

My criteria differ but we are still innately drawn to the “fittest”, the one that will survive.  And this man, let me tell you, would outlast us all with these spectacular traits:

Wes Anderson’s genius
Adrian Brody’s
Zach Braff’s quirky humor
Chris Sharma’s
The Dalai Lama’s compassion
JT Holmes’s
David Duchovny’s
Mark Ruffalo’s
Ben Gibbard’s
way with words
Josh Halloway’s
dimpled smile (the smile could melt the clothes right off my back.  um. did I just say that out loud? my bad.)
Johnny Depp’s
enigmatic eyes
Robert Downey Junior’s
everything (let’s face it)
Ryan Reynold’s
Aaron Nace’s
Zach Condon’s
gypsy ways
Jamie Oliver’s
skills in the kitchen
Ray Lamontagne’s voice
Jude Law’s accent
Michael Franti’s
Tom Robbin’s vivid imagination
Quentin Tarantino’s intellect (seriously, the guy is a MENSA member)
Joseph Gordon-Levitt’s sex appeal
Ed Norton’s activism

Also, a smidgeon of badass either in the form of Wolverine or Tyler Durden
And a whole lotta Cusack (here he is, the king of lists, in High Fidelity)

Now that’s what I call a tall order! I’m sure I’m missing the Clooney’s and the Damon’s and the Gyllenhaal’s of the world but there are only so many men you can fit in one man. 

If it were your list, who would you add to it?  I know, your husband is perfect just the way he is!  Sh-sh-sh-sh-sure.  Mmmm hmmm.  Cough it up, ladies.

Also, if you have any ideas for future lists you’d like to see here, help a sista out, share the love, spread the knowledge, send me your list.  I’m aiming* to post a list every Thursday until 2011 because Thursday is the best day of the week (it just is and I’ll tell you why one of these days in some random list).  So stay tuned.

* Aiming… with a no-guilt clause upon defaulting to another day.  Given that I am already starting this project 3 weeks into the year, it proves I am hardly accountable.

22 Comments leave one →
  1. January 22, 2010 9:29 am

    I LOVE your list! LOVE. I came here via BP and read all of your travel things and boy stories, and promptly bookmarked you…love your writing!

  2. January 22, 2010 11:11 am

    a little Henry:

    that’s all I can think of off the top of my head, but you’ve gotten me all lusty over here.

    I hope you find the perfect man for you, even if he ends up not being one single thing on this list and all the things you never even knew you wanted.


  3. January 22, 2010 11:15 am

    oh my… have so many of my favorites on there and then you topped it with a listmaker (cusack) himself and i just melted. we need to be friends on facebook (i am shy about sending unsolicited friend requests – i feel like i’m imposing sometimes)

    will it be horrible if i copy you? it’s kind of fun and i love sharing lists – it’s like a peek in the mental closet.

  4. January 22, 2010 11:26 am

    Oooh…. lovely idea. I am a fan of Lists too. I may get on board and copycat this idea too.

    Also, yes. Reading this list…. erm, Yes*.

    *Was Sherlock Holmes great for eye-candy or what?? ; )

  5. January 22, 2010 11:40 am

    i think i might join along…a list a week, because i love lists, memes and everything that lets me blog with numerical order. 🙂

  6. January 22, 2010 11:53 am

    please do join me, ladies. the more the merrier.

    brittany: how is it that i never heard of this henry guy… me-ow

    christine: sherlock holmes? almost too much for me to handle. the man is just amazing.

  7. January 22, 2010 12:40 pm

    Char from Ramblins just directed me over here…LOVE the list thing…
    Ok…so I’m thinking who I would add…
    I am DRAWING all my shoes in my closet…how about you LIST all yours!!!
    Ha…there’s a challenge(that’s if you’re a shoe-aholic like me).
    Have a great Friday…I’m adding YOU to my FAVE blog list!

  8. Ashley Erin permalink
    January 22, 2010 3:57 pm

    Fabulous list! Such a lovely idea!
    I think I would add, Michael Buble’s voice, Robert Redford’s hair (or just about anything from Robert Redford), and David Tennant’s smile.

    I too am a list lover and I believe I might join up in the project as well! Now what to post a list off… hmmmm….

  9. Frannie permalink
    January 22, 2010 6:14 pm

    Ok, I’m an old broad so I have to add Clint Eastwood’s anything to the list. He is still seriously hot, and oh man, he could make my day (or night) anytime.

  10. January 22, 2010 6:25 pm

    OMG I LOVE THIS LIST. like, LOVE love. also? I love that you’re doing a list a week too. now I know I’m not in this alone.

    p.s. I really miss you, friend. I wish we lived in the same town.

  11. kat permalink
    January 22, 2010 6:40 pm

    hehe this is turning out to be one fantastical dude, dare i ask for a little Gandhi and some mr Michael Franti? i too a lover of lists – is it neurotic for me to keep a list of things to do instead of whats on my list? keep it coming xx

  12. Karen permalink
    January 23, 2010 2:58 am

    Okay, you had me at Robert Downey Jr – the only reason I went to see Iron Man with my husband without complaint! I also love Jeremy Ratchford’s (he’s on Cold Case) voice – that lovely low gravelly grumble of a voice. Love your blog Jeanine. Wish we could be friends but I’m frying in the land down under. It was 41 degrees C today!

  13. January 23, 2010 1:09 pm

    I’m right there with you with the Mark Ruffalo love. I got to meet him a few years ago, and I can still remember every second:

    love your list idea!

  14. January 23, 2010 6:45 pm

    Jeanine, I love the synchronicity of this. When I read Andrea’s post, I thought, “I’ve GOT to do that, too1” I laughed out loud when I saw you were doing the same. Then, I visited Char and saw she was too. How great an idea is this? And the best of it is that Hula will be nothing but happy about it. Yes?

  15. January 23, 2010 11:25 pm

    I make lists all the time (mostly in my head); suppose it’s a reflection of my OCD, I don’t know. Anyway, I’ll be interested to see your posts each Thursday!

  16. Kim permalink
    January 25, 2010 2:42 pm

    Love this… I’m trying to think of who to add to the perfect guy list and now my head is jammed up. If I had to grab one (harhar) at random I’d say, Clive Owen. Mmmm…
    I love making lists and am pretty sure I’ll be listing with you all over the weeks ahead. What fun!!!

  17. January 26, 2010 3:15 am

    Great list!

    A girl can dream, right?

    I was nodding and mmm-ing as I read through.


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