captured on film

polaroid taken by the lovely and talented kristen

I am usually the girl with a camera glued to her face whenever she gets the chance but I am the same girl that feels very uncomfortable having the lens pointed in her direction.  When it is, I strike a gigantic smile that takes up my entire face.  Click.  Another photo of me with a big ass smile. Same smile, different location.  Not that there’s anything wrong with that.  I am pro smiling and I love my big ass cheshire grin.  But put me in a photo shoot and you would be hard pressed to tame “the smile”.  It can’t be helped.  It comes mainly from the insecurity of not being the most photogenic person on the planet and by not photogenic, I mean that I look like a total strung out dude when I’m serious.  Which would be okay if, you know, I were a strung out dude.

So imagine my joy when I saw this photo of me, taken by the very lovely and talented Kristen.  I was unaware of her snapping this shot and because I was unaware, she was able to capture me as me (with extra pola milky magic).  The elusive Jeaninus canadensis in her native habitat.  Seeing myself with a camera seems like the most natural thing in the world and something clicked (pun intended… it’s pun friday, didn’t you know?).  This is something I’m really passionate about.  Behind the lens is where I go to forget and and while I’m out there seeking beauty, I find peace of mind because everything zooms into the moment and focuses on right now.

I’ve been feeling nervous lately because my cousin asked me to take pictures at her wedding this weekend.  And I’m not one to take portraits.  Since I don’t like having the lens pointed at my face, I don’t really know how to make people feel comfortable in front of the camera.  And weddings are all about the portraits, people.  Luckily, there will be another photographer there so I decided I’d let him take care of setting people up.   I’ll be the one shooting the hands, the feet, the little details, the candid, the silly,  the secret moments when people are unaware of the click.  At least, this is my hope.  I might only get a bunch of big ass Caron smiles and that’s okay too because we’re going to be one helluva happy family and that’s just how we do.