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pull yourself together woman!

February 12, 2009

wil in the mud

When I woke up Sunday morning, there was a pig on my pillow with a very stern look on his face.  For all the charm Wilbur exudes, he’s also quite capable of getting his point across, and by the way he was staring me down, I knew he meant business.

Me: Good morning, Willy.

W: Don’t you good morning Willy me, Little Miss Blah.  It’s intervention time.  I know I’m a pig and all but this place is worse than a sty.  That thing in the closet with a long handle and bristles isn’t purely decorative.  It serves a function and that is to sweep dust bunnies, which, in case you haven’t noticed, are hanging out in every corner of this house and they’ve been inviting friends.

Me: Am I in the twilight zone?  Because it seems there’s a pig lecturing me on the virtues of cleanliness on a Sunday morning, before I’ve even had a chance to wipe the sleep from my eyes.

W: You better believe it.  I can’t live like this anymore.  There’s 3-day-old jam on the counter and a grimy ring in the bathtub.  What kind of place are you running here?   Un hotel para cucarachas

Me: This coming from an ungulate who rolls around in mud with glee.

W: You should know that pigs are generally clean animals and you’d roll around in mud too if you didn’t have sweat glands and needed to regulate your own body temperature.  Besides, we’re not talking about mud here, we are talking about the fact that even my hog cousins in the country would judge you for being so messy.

Me: Ah, come on Wil, it ain’t that bad.

W: Oh really!  Perhaps we should let your readers decide for themselves.  Readers.  Check it!


W: I’m quite aware of the irony of me standing under a web but I can assure you, I am not chillin’ with Charlotte here.  I am merely pointing out the laisser faire attitude that has taken over my roommate as of late.

Me: I saved you from the slaughterhouse, from the land of bacon and porkchops, and this is how you treat me?   No respect.

W: It’s my tough lovin’ technique. You and I both know that a cluttered space = a cluttered mind.  You’ll thank me later.

So that’s what I did, first thing Sunday morning.  I got out of bed and cleaned the place real good.  We’re talking about washing floors, cleaning out the fridge, re-organizing kitchen cupboards and bedroom drawers.  Le gros ménage, quoi.  I must admit that it not only feels good to have a clean apartment, it felt good to snap out of it, to take control of the reigns again.

After cleaning, I was all jazzed to tackle the good old to do list, but Wil and his gnomie had other plans for me.  They decided they wanted me to chauffeur them around the city.  They’d been cooped up long  enough and needed some fresh air.  It was, indeed, a gorgeous sunny Sunday and the camera was moaning and mumbling something about feeling rather useless and abandoned as of late.  So I packed up all the kids and headed to Mount Royal Park where I strolled around for hours.  Oh!  The fun we had.


W: Dude, what is she doing?  I’m freezing my little testes off here.
G: I hate to break it to you, but I don’t thing your particular model came with testicles.


P Positive and Jolly G going door to door, doing a little veggie bacon solicitation.





Always up to no good these two.  Monkey business, as usual.  The great thing about their size is they get to explore miniature worlds.  And I am a big fan of the small stuff so I follow along as far as my size permits then relish in the tales of their adventures.


Leave it to Wilbur and his gnomie to  pull me out of my funk.  Turns out, a pig, a gnome, a sunny day and a photo foray do wonders for this girl.

Let it be known that I have “live” friends with whom I spend much time having “real” conversations.  But sometimes, you need to step out of reality for awhile and saunter through the world of imagination where anything is possible.  Where you can carry a little plastic pig and his buddy in your pocket and convince yourself that you can hear them whispering to each other.  Sometimes, it’s that playfulness that awakens the creativity within.  The letting go of preconceived notions, of what people think of you when you are knee deep in mud taking photos of a toy pig.

And for the record… my apartment may be spotless but I left the cobweb by the window.   I left it… because who’s to say Charlotte doesn’t live there?

19 Comments leave one →
  1. February 12, 2009 2:43 pm

    Marvelous! Who needs “real” friends when you’ve got pigs & gnomes like these??

  2. February 12, 2009 3:50 pm

    you always make me giggle … i also cleaned my house on sunday and it felt fabulous … you know i have a cow, a little tiny cow on my kitchen table, i really should take her out for a fun excursion … maybe she’ll even talk to me … hee hee


  3. February 12, 2009 5:49 pm

    What a wonderous day! Although, if I woke up to a tiny pig giving me a hard time about my house cleaning abilities, I don’t know if I’d have been as gracious as you appeared to be. 🙂

    Looking forward to reading about more adventures… Be sure to let me know if ever a road trip to Ottawa is on their itinerary! xox

  4. February 12, 2009 5:52 pm

    oh i so appreciate your voice & your playFULL & creative ways…the photos are brilliant!

  5. chris permalink
    February 12, 2009 7:58 pm

    hahaha….I have a little pig that lives in my sty head. He gives me a hard time too. What would we do without those little voices?!

  6. bhamgirl717 permalink
    February 12, 2009 8:51 pm

    totally whimsical and smile inducing

  7. helen permalink
    February 13, 2009 5:41 am

    Heh, what a lovely pig! Although I agree with with jag. Any tiny pig who started nagging me before my first cup of tea would be a brave pig indeed.

    I leave spiders’ webs as well. I like to think there’s room enough in my house for all. Perhaps I might go full-on Roger Deakin in my approach to housekeeping, but I’d have to put a limit on insect size, I don’t mind small ones but great big clackety cockroaches would challenge my hospitality.

  8. February 13, 2009 9:08 am

    you are SO cute and have a great imagination. where would we all be without that. keep on pretending! i love it. poor W no testes. lol 🙂

  9. It's Just Me permalink
    February 13, 2009 9:24 am

    Love it! So much fun. I used to have a rubber chicken that went for photo shoots with me. I really should pull him out again sometime.

  10. February 13, 2009 10:31 am

    Very much the smile inducing post, and a great way to start this day. Tx.

  11. Alison permalink
    February 13, 2009 12:12 pm

    Kristin, that gave me the biggest giggle too.

    This was great and made me feel as though I’d gotten out and about.

  12. February 13, 2009 12:28 pm

    I love your figures! They’re so sweet and the pictures of their adventures are amazing. I hope you three have lovely adventures planned this weekend.

  13. February 13, 2009 3:23 pm

    I think that Wilbur might need to peek in a my place and give me the same not-so-gentle nudge to sweep those dust bunnies! Whimsical and wonderful and hurrah for a clean house (which DOES always make us feel so much lighter) and a wonderful trip to the park.xo

  14. Randy permalink
    February 13, 2009 5:14 pm

    I feel so validated. I’m not the only one with reproducing dust bunnies. I’ve had some of mine so long they have names.

  15. February 13, 2009 6:27 pm

    What a great big laugh you’ve given me today. My gift from a stranger. What fun. So glad I visited…I’m linking to you…so I can return again…next time I need a giggle.

    How come age so often leaves giggles behind?

  16. February 13, 2009 6:31 pm

    This is so cute! The photos are awesome! 🙂

  17. February 16, 2009 8:23 pm

    tee-hee! sooo cute! girl, you know i heart your photos so much–please get in touch if you’d ever like to do some “bizness dealings”–i gots a shop now, and will be all ears if you’re interested.
    keep up the beauty and silliness–what a perfect combo!

  18. February 16, 2009 8:24 pm

    clarity: i meant interested in supplying me with your wares–sorry for the ambiguity!

  19. September 6, 2011 4:03 pm

    loved digging until i found this today. smiles all the way. they did make it to the pond with you, r-r-r-r-right?

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