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day 10 – three thoughts floating around up there

November 10, 2008

dylan & kevin

Birthdays and new year celebrations are there to remind us of how much we’ve accomplished any given year.  They are jumping boards for future goals.  But there is also something to be said for the anniversary of losing someone you love, whether that be a physical death or the end of a relationship.  I believe these anniversaries are important checkpoints in our lives; there to show us that we can survive hardships and come out on the other side stronger.  There to remind us that we can lose what we think is our everything and still gain something from the rubble.  They are little life buoys to hold onto in turbulent waters… signs to cling to life dearly because one big wave can take it all away.

With time, you wash up on shore, you lie on the beach, you give your heart to the sun and hope it can warm it up again.  Over the years, rain still comes pouring down on you when you least expect it, when you are out in the world without an umbrella.  The pain is acute at first, then dulls and becomes chronic for a little while but eventually you heal.  You don’t even realize you have until that anniversary comes rolling around and you are reminded of that day.  That day you thought you would never recover from, but you did.

I hadn’t suffered much loss in my life prior to losing my best pal, Dylan.  I had no idea that a little shelter dog would carve a niche in my heart and pump joy through my veins every single day for 5 years.  That he would stay with me 2 years after his death and still put a smile on my face.

I miss you little man.  I know it sounds silly but I still hear the pitter patter of your paws.

Those who are dead are not dead, they’re just living in my head…” – coldplay

***

tristan

My soon-to-be 2-year old nephew is having surgery today.  I know I have nothing to be worried about but the thought of a such a wee boy going “under the knife” is unnerving.  Poor little dude.  I’d really appreciate it if you tucked a thought in your heart today for my sister and the cutest boy ever.

***

On another note, I have a serious problem folks.  I am a creative junkie.  There, I said it.  Honestly, I do believe that something has short-circuited in my brain… or something surely will if I don’t stop taking on too much.  Two weeks ago, I barely had time to clip my toenails and so what did I do? I signed up for nablopomo.  And now that Christmas is right around the corner, I figured why not take this baby into overdrive, so I signed up for elsie’s online class. 5 projects a week for 6 weeks! I am, officially, certifiably, insane folks.

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2 Comments leave one →
  1. Alison permalink
    November 11, 2008 12:35 pm

    Time hurts and heals. I’m glad you’re able to look back now with a smile. And you’ll smile about other things too as the months pass.

  2. November 11, 2008 2:51 pm

    I have days when I forget what I have lost in this life, and days, too, where it all comes rushing back to unexpectedly that I feel as if I might literally crumble under the weight of the sadness that comes from missing someone as much as you do. If I’ve learned anything from losing is that life surely does go on, but not the same way. Some days you move forward triumphantly. Others, you are simply treading water. Both are more than OK.

    Loves to you and good thoughts to your nephew.

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