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the ring comes off

October 25, 2008

It wasn’t a wedding ring
or even an engagement ring for that matter.
It was a ring that he found
at the bottom of a hot spring
in the hills of Ecuador.
He brought it home for me
and it only fit that finger.
It felt good on that finger.
It was, on some level,
a sign of my commitment
to him.

Last night,
after 9 months of separation,
I finally took it off.
The little kernel of hope
I held and tended to
rotted.
The death was slow
but the battle is over
and the cavalry in my heart
has pulled back.

I had been holding on so tight
to such a fragile little string
in a hurricane.
Now the cord has officially been cut.
snip snip.
And though I have been set free,
I feel untethered,
washed up.

Have you ever noticed
how sometimes it seems easier
to be tied down
than to float on?
Floating feels aimless and prone
to getting lost.
That vast expanse,
all those possibilities
can feel daunting.
Which way do I go?

But it turns out
that even when the ring is off,
it forms the shape of a heart.
Another little reminder
that love is all around.
So no matter which direction I take,
I know I’ll be just fine.

That rotten kernel
is fertilizing this tender soil,
leaving room
for other seeds to grow.
And I won’t be watering them
with tears
anymore.

Sometimes the act of floating can lead us to solid ground. I’m investing in that belief. ” – ember swift

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11 Comments leave one →
  1. October 25, 2008 1:49 pm

    What a beautiful thing you have done: to make hope out of sorrow. The photos and your words are a poem of love.

  2. October 25, 2008 9:56 pm

    Oh sweetie… I’m so sorry all over again, but that was, indeed, very beautiful.

  3. October 26, 2008 5:08 am

    This is incredibly beautiful – I hope you find what you are looking for in its absence.

  4. Alison permalink
    October 26, 2008 10:32 am

    Bittersweet freedom. No matter what you will always be loved.

  5. October 27, 2008 9:26 pm

    Please don’t take this the wrong way but I might have done better to get hit by a bus.
    Your prose is beautiful but your suffering in such a public way is almost unbearable.
    Peace be with you SOON.

  6. elizabeth permalink
    October 28, 2008 12:04 am

    how utterly wild that the ring leaves the shadow of a heart!?

    you are so beautiful and so much good and so much JOY is ahead of you, promise.

    bisous, E

  7. October 28, 2008 1:23 am

    How eloquently put. You’re moving through it and this too will pass.

  8. October 28, 2008 2:19 pm

    This is where you begin to heal…….

  9. October 29, 2008 7:01 am

    This was beautiful, as are you, friend. Thinking of you and sending you big love, and much deserved peace, from here.

  10. November 3, 2008 6:56 pm

    your photos are exquisite! I was checking out the blogs of all my “classmates” and i saw your photos and practically gasped! Beautiful!

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